¿Soy molestado yo? Suis-j'ennuyé ? Bin ich belästigt? Я обеспокоен? 私は邪魔をされますか？ 我被打扰吗？

Hi all!
Quick quiz! What one phrase have I had translated in to 6 languages in the title - bonus points for guessing the languages. Answers at end of blog. If your mouse over the title it will link to the website for free translations. Below is a wee treat for Gary in case for his use the next time he is in Norway. Such fun!
Jeg leter etter Kylie ? Har De sett henne ? Hun er meget liten ! Hang on a minute - those Jerrys seem to be making some gender bending accusation - Klien! How very dare they!
Ich suche Kylie? Haben Sie sie gesehen? Sie ist sehr klein!

Anyway, moving on from linguistic sillyness to an apology. I am very sorry for the constant flat updates - it is as boring for you as us, so just so everyone is up to speed, I will do a brief summary of events so far in Cockney of course:

One night in September, H and I woke ter a crack. Oh no - there is water comin' in us bedroom, init? Dog and bone the emergency services.. Ringg ringg - "hello mum!" Then 'ung up - baffroom now leakin'! Struth!

Make insurance claim "don't fear it will be not so bad" said them. In the meantime, right, the bloody pillock up the apples and pears knocks over fish tank in October. Oh no, there is water comin' into us lounge. Dog and bone insurers - "don't fear, it will be not so bad". Insurers visit "sorry, yor baffroom and bedroom is the result of yor rotton flat roof" "oh no" said I "don't fear, we will pay for yor lounge" "that's sumfink I said".

Two weeks ago at 4.40pm on a Friday. Scene: empty lounge as all furniture removed so buildin' work can commence. Cor blimey guv, would I lie to you?

Ringgg ringg "hi, right, hope yor well. By the way, yor not insured, policy ended in September 30ff" "oh no" I said meekly. I'll get out me spoons. Monday - many dog and bone calls hammer and tack at square one, do wot guvnor! But, right, the bloomin' Jessica Fletcher in me 'as been workin' over time - I do some investigation and I'm right. The baffroom leak is a result of the bloody pillock up the apples and pears and 'is roof. Claim hammer and tack on. This mornin'. No word from insurers yet 'oo assure us at least that we are insured. I use umbrella ter go ter to toilet as it is rainin'..... tbc (in a brief manner! Oi!)

I don't suppose if you didn't understand that you would check with me unless you have been having problems sleeping lately!

Now, M*C, you may wish to look away now...

As many folks may have noted, the bond chair has fallen in to chronic disrepair so I have now thrown it away as it was too big anyway. No, only joking! I've for sometime been getting quotes for its re-holpstoryhofuyastposnoxcpowjc how ever you spell that word - basically to get it recovered and I am getting figurs in the region of £500. Here is a picture of it before the make over began and you will note its sorry state:

Actually, it doesn't look all that bad here, but most will who have parked there recently will know what a mess it was in. Irma, has agreed to sew a brand new cover so Captain Jon and Mr WD40 removed the base, and I removed the cover and unpicked it for Irma to use as a pattern and this is how it looks now. M*C if you are still reading, definitly look away now.

Its naked Bond Chair. Anyway, I would be grateful to suggestions for a new cover. It can't be vinyl because Allie would just re-savage it and it can't be leather because meat is murder. I am thinking cord material but would like it to reflect the age of the chair - I think it is more 60's then 70's. M*C would have the deciding vote. I am certainly thinking of getting a pattern, maybe damask (maybe black and white). Anyway, I would be very grateful to ideas.

In other news, I am about to start my skills compancy framework portfilio, i.e. a file showing that I can do my job despite complaints to MPs as part of my qualification. I am hoping to do it in 6 weeks so fingers crossed. H is well and currently resting her eyes with Allie slumped on her.
I have just asked H if we have any other news but she says "No!" this could be as we are about to go to the Black Horse for a tradional curry Sunday lunch! Oh, we just made some money on eBay selling junk - there are such freaks out there one item went for over £20 - second hand dolls.... such freaks! We had about 28 items on so have some handy xmas money.

We saw Flashdance the other day and are getting a little obsessed.... be warned, we are getting to know the routines! Ok, I am being eyeballed, so I will sign off and then reach for my brollo as its still raining in the bathroom.

Hope all are well!
Love Kat
Picture above is showing the happiness of getting washed in a bathroom that is not exposed to the elements. Its the simple things!