Merry Christmas!!!

Hello all! Long time no write or maybe just two weeks or so. I hope all are well and I am desperately trying to think of some news.... I feel rather inspired by the article above about round robin letters and thought I might have an attempt one for Helen and I for the year that was 2005 - but smug, I hope it is not! Here goes:

Helen and I share a private joke about patterned head scarves.
Dearest Friends and Family,

The year that was 2005 was not a kind one to Helen, Allie and I. January started off fairly uneventful however because someone committed suicide on the A501 (Euston Underpass) I was diverted in to the Congestion Zone and charged. I should have known then it was not going to be a good year for Percy and Transport for London. I was refunded eventually after BBC London intervened. I had my second Skoda rage incident also on the 24th of Jan when in court.

Went to a lovely murder mystery at Gary's old house. Found out Helen was murderer. This made me reflect for some time on our relationship and wonder if we really had a future or whether I could be a death-row doll.

February was decisively average, work wise the Hounslow team for the young consumer competition missed out on the national finals by 1 point. This meant I missed out on a weekend away in Brighton in a four star hotel...... great.

In March Dad was in London village but stood outside my flat for half an hour before slonking off back to Pompey as I was held up in a paper bridge building day at GSK which resulted also in me scoring 1 point, which was also the lowest in the team player quiz. I did however score highly in the skeptic personality bit - apparently I am the sober voice of reason pointing out all the things that will go wrong in the project.

Just also realised I haven't claimed some expenses back from going to court for Newham way back in March.

April should be written off as although Christine triumphed in her gymnastics I started my new and soon to be short lived life at Redbridge. At Redbridge I am actually sorry to say I learnt the meaning of institutionalized racism and worked with some of the stupid and most unpleasant people in my life. Started campaign to get back to Hounslow next day.

Marie-Claire and Kat Simlar took off to Oz on the 6th May - so that was sad. Allie made it to her first birthday on the 11th of June and a Chav party ensued. Despite spending time and money on my outfit I am scored one vote in the 'best chav' poll - and that was for my hat.

Went to Glastonbury on Gary's birthday. I therefore blame Gary for the rain. And lightening hitting the beer tent - that has Gary written all over it!

July was a marked improvement - back to Hounslow after 8 week sabbatical and go-karting was fun. Even though I was in the bottom three worse drivers. Saw Mary Poppins - can't complain.

Did several raids at work and went to Brighton Pride in August (as a word of warning, there is an awful lot of gay people and exposed bottoms). Saw a play at the Globe - it rained there too. Went to Newquay and after giving Sully a pep talk on the dangers of swimming after a few bevvys, then did just that. Helen and I were together for thee years in August and considering her murderous tendencies and my nagging it is a minor miracle!

September saw the start of my still unresolved saga with Southern/independent Complaints peeps. I took madam to Gay Paris and clearly didn't learn the 'if your going for just a weekend several hundred miles away then don't drive/be driven' lesson. Despite staying in a hotel room themed on a boys bedroom it was quite alright in all.

Went to an Agetha Christie event at the British Library that was embarrassing on so many levels as I was sat with Helen's parents. I started an evening class in pottery but have yet to bring a single pot home to date.

Saw a good play in October and was offered a house with the Notting Hill Housing Association. The house fell through (not literally although it did have a possible problem with subsidence). Saw another good play and fainted at a KT Tunstall gig. Birthday came round and Helen didn't get me a card and I had to buy my own present - I don't have much hope of us reaching our 4th year anniversary.

November continued downhill. I gave up smoking, got hit by a bus and was ill for 2 weeks. Found a new flat we liked, made offer which was accepted. I have no doubt it is built on an evil pet burial ground. Saw another good play.

hurray - December this miserable year is almost over - yet I have still managed to house warm Sully's flat with food I had already eaten, got a fine for driving in a bus lane (I am trusting LB Haringay on this as its not all that apparent on the photo and I do recall a diversion but my appeals have never proven that successful). Saw Scrooge (Tommy Steele is so scary but Helen started a fantastic rumor as the curtain rose about him not being in it to the response of some woman turning around and shouting "you are joking aren't you??"). And to make sure its all up to date, gave Helen her Christmas and part birthday present and then crushed my finger in it. Then I fainted and apparently went totally stiff and frothed at the mouth. Its quite sore today as is my face as Helen was slapping me so hard my nose stud took off never to be found again.

So that's it folks. Allie is still with us and yet to have pulled down the Christmas tree. Hope everyone has a super new year!

Lots of Love
Over and Out

Katty Blanch the first!