Warning - blog contains descriptions of suistained voilence and terror!

Slug bashing

Our garden is plagued by slugs and snails. In the spirit of debate, I have listed my most common methods of attack however I would be interested in trying, for the sake of gardeners everywhere, any new methods:

The Sully Sling
As first witnessed in Crawley. Pick up the snail by its shell and sling it at a hard surface (vertical is best) i.e. a wall or a shed (as Sully demonstrated). I have adapted this method by scooping several snails on a trawl, and using that as tennis racket.
Effectiveness: Requires catching a snail
Other notes – not recommended on white walls, which I was aiming at unless splatter patterns are your thing. If it bounced, you’re not throwing hard enough. Does provide easy prey bird food. Doesn’t work on slugs.Salt Wash
Gather some offending species together and poor salt on them and watch them melt. Very satisfying if you are plagued by snails and slugs. Give it a ‘Hostel’ twist – get them in the first!
Effectiveness – requires catching them.
Other notes – messy, leaves salt mountains all other garden and can be expensive, if, like us, we only use sea salt, as we don’t salt food generally.

Pellets
The most effective method I would imagine for an all out genocide – it gets the critters who hide in the soil and thus exempt from above methods.
Effectiveness: Very!
Other notes – economic and environmental cost – are birds that eat the poisoned slug/snail liable for some poising themselves?? No satisfaction gained by personally avenging your young seedlings that were taking untimely early spring.

The Bottoms Up approach
Never tried this, but apparently you bury a glass of beer in the garden and the slugs fall in and drown. Why can’t it just be water then? Also, for those that get away, is there a damage it can make birds drunk by eating the intoxicated snail/slug and more prey to domestic cats? I’d imagine the more expensive choice of ethnic cleanse as well as lacking personal satisfaction too.

Love Bites
Apparently, there are parasites you can buy that will bury themselves in the slug/snail and cause it imminent death. I would imagine this would be effective for the underground types too. I would be interested to know more on this method if any one has tried.

As a final note – slugs and snails are evil and if they had feelings they would surely too have freewill and help me by solely munching on my weeds. I don’t know if they feel pain, quite frankly – I don’t care.

Anyone up for snail tennis???